Good Hypotenuse

I'm back. Now that I'm in college and have work to avoid doing I might as well start this thing up again. College!!! Wooo!!! [I'll save the obligatory "College" upload for a future Simonetti post.] Did you know you have to do work in college? I had no idea! Live and learn. And learn and learn and learn. Then substance abuse and sleep. Nah, just kidding. No sleep. But lots of reading, writing--though on the bright side, no 'rithmetic. I'm exempt from ever having to take another math course in my life. From now on I only count measures and beats.

Jerry Co - "Mathematic Dance"
Ariola (608 874 A)

So, Jerry Co. Ha. One of those punny names in the vein of K. Barré and Den Harrow and Lou Sern and Joe Yellow and Kris Tallow and all the other Carmen Sandiego henchmen. Thing is, "Mathematic Dance" doesn't need the distractingly drag-queeny pun to get attention. The song's German-produced but fits squarely in the Italian school, somewhere in the alphabetical space between M like Moon's downtempo dreamscape "Sunlight" and M-Basic's jangly synths on "O.K. Run."

It's refreshing to hear a German disco track without all the overproduction and the histrionic melodies and the falsetto vocals inherent to the genre. I mean, if you dig that kitschy stuff, and if you're reading this, well, you probably do, more powerpop to you. Admittedly, I grew up on Modern Talking, and it wasn't until I was fourteen that I found out the singers were men, and that was a whopping four years ago so I'm ready for the 'nads to drop. Mine, theirs, yours, everybody's. Drop them balls.

Valerie Krystal - "Jailbait"
Tojo Productions (T12-1010 A)

Heck, you're never too old for trashy Canadian Hi-NRG, and never too young for trashy high-energy Canadians. I love the piercing police whistles 'cuz they remind me of W.C. Fields and W.C. Fields reminds me of why I'm in college in the first place.

Okay class is over now so I must be going. Oh, and tomorrow: more dirty disco.