Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Good Hypotenuse

I'm back. Now that I'm in college and have work to avoid doing I might as well start this thing up again. College!!! Wooo!!! [I'll save the obligatory "College" upload for a future Simonetti post.] Did you know you have to do work in college? I had no idea! Live and learn. And learn and learn and learn. Then substance abuse and sleep. Nah, just kidding. No sleep. But lots of reading, writing--though on the bright side, no 'rithmetic. I'm exempt from ever having to take another math course in my life. From now on I only count measures and beats.

Jerry Co - "Mathematic Dance"
Ariola (608 874 A)

So, Jerry Co. Ha. One of those punny names in the vein of K. Barré and Den Harrow and Lou Sern and Joe Yellow and Kris Tallow and all the other Carmen Sandiego henchmen. Thing is, "Mathematic Dance" doesn't need the distractingly drag-queeny pun to get attention. The song's German-produced but fits squarely in the Italian school, somewhere in the alphabetical space between M like Moon's downtempo dreamscape "Sunlight" and M-Basic's jangly synths on "O.K. Run."

It's refreshing to hear a German disco track without all the overproduction and the histrionic melodies and the falsetto vocals inherent to the genre. I mean, if you dig that kitschy stuff, and if you're reading this, well, you probably do, more powerpop to you. Admittedly, I grew up on Modern Talking, and it wasn't until I was fourteen that I found out the singers were men, and that was a whopping four years ago so I'm ready for the 'nads to drop. Mine, theirs, yours, everybody's. Drop them balls.

Valerie Krystal - "Jailbait"
Tojo Productions (T12-1010 A)

Heck, you're never too old for trashy Canadian Hi-NRG, and never too young for trashy high-energy Canadians. I love the piercing police whistles 'cuz they remind me of W.C. Fields and W.C. Fields reminds me of why I'm in college in the first place.

Okay class is over now so I must be going. Oh, and tomorrow: more dirty disco.

Friday, June 22, 2007

School's Out

So I'll start blogging again.

Pitchfork After Dark Review

I'll not vouchsafe an opinion in re the above. Am too cool.

To be honest I have conflicting views regarding the democratization of good taste.

Imagine how often I could blog if I didn't put any thought into my posts, eh?

Thursday, April 26, 2007


Nancy Nova - "The Force"
Ritz Records, 1981

Nancy Nova sounds like Kate Bush on nitrous oxide. Actually that doesn't begin to do her justice. Just watch.

Nancy Nova - "Made in Japan"
EMI Records, 1982

Nancy Nova - "No No No"
EMI Records, 1982

Nancy Nova - "Heaven"

Ritz Records, 1979

Nancy Nova - "Lifeline"

EMI Records, 1983

Nancy Nova - "Copy"

Nancy Nova - "Masquerade"

Delicious, Delicious

Heart Paula Sheppard.

Paula E. Sheppard - "Me and My Rhythm Box"
from the Liquid Sky OST
Varèse Sarabande (VCD-47181), 1983

Wednesday, April 25, 2007


I am a vocoder. I am synthetic voice.

Gay Cat Park - "I'm a Vocoder"
Il Discotto Records (ART 1001-A), 1982

Undoubtedly the best of the early lo-fi Discottos, "I'm a Vocoder" was the label's second original release, after Jo-Jo's equally gorgeous "Mind Games" and two licensed Bobby O productions. The best thing about the record is how totally DIY it is. The bassline's as slick and simple as they get, and yet still manages to sound somehow sinister, otherworldly even. Davide Gatti and Luca evidently wrote the lyrics at sixteen, and it was to be their first of several Italo records less consistent in quality than in delightfully bad English. I just can't get around the fact that two sixteen-year-old Italian boys came home from English class to pen a futuristic new-wave single about anthropomorphic electronic appliances. That's like the definition of the 80's. So cute. So brilliant:
I am a friend of the circulator,
Which is in love of microprocessor.
Is out of memory, for this silicons chips
But is no possible exchange with them his bits.
Is no possible exchange with them his bits! How sad. Words to melt even the coldest heart.

By the mid 80's, Italo disco had lost much of its punky innocence. Too bad. We could have used a few more minimal electro tracks as sly as this one. Gatti and Luca could take a hint from Black Devil and think about issuing some of those unreleased Gay Cat demos.